Skip to main content

Falling into place, if a bit forcibly.

I've blogged a couple times now about my efforts to build some routines into my life. I think getting myself to do my chores and stuff will get easier when it's part of a routine versus just free floating.

It's all still a work in progress, massively so, but I'm experimenting with different setups to see what feels right. Some are just making time and space in my day to do things I would or should do normally--showering, brushing teeth, etc. Other things take me out of my usual behavior and don't have to be done--doing the dishes, cleaning the kitchen, making my bed, etc.

I imagine normal people have no trouble with this stuff. But I'm both forgetful and avoidant. As soon as I'm out of bed, I'm liable to forget it all but entirely, leaving it unmade and rushing off to whatever's next. Even if I remember it or see it or think of it throughout the day, I consciously choose not to remake it. I suppose it feels tedious or distracting or something. Whatever the reason, my bed never gets made. The same fate awaits most other chores, too.

So what I've been doing is making my bed as soon as I get out of it. Then, as I'm already there and on my knees, I do my morning prayers, too. So that's two things down within 5 minutes. It's been getting done without too much trouble, and I feel doubly good about the day to boot.

Exactly what comes next, though, is still a bit in development. Possibilities include showering, etc; breakfast, etc; and blogging & writing, etc.

Today I got up, got the kettle going and a cup with the tea bag and spoon, then set about putting together my cheerios + greek yogurt + half a banana. By the time I was done eating that, the kettle was hot enough for the tea.

But I felt kinda spacey and a bit gross. So I'm tempted to try doing the shower thing first again. I think I'll try a variation, though: After I shower, I invariably do my astringent and moisturizer routine, obviously, but then lately I've followed directly with the nasal flush and brushing teeth parts. I'm thinking I'll try breaking those off until after I've eaten. For one, it frees up the bathroom for everyone else. Always a good thing. For another, it gets me out of this bloody robe sooner. I'm sweating my ball off in this thing!

All this seems tedious, I'm sure. As I've said, though, I think it's my best shot at getting these things in order and done. It gives me a solid start taking care of all these things. That's invaluable for me; a bad, unclean start can throw off everything, enabling all kinds of avoidance to crop up. Instead, I start the day on a responsible foot and go from there. Not too shabby, really.

Comments

Other things that might interest you...

On aging, and fear.

To begin with, I’m not sure you’re aware of it, but I’m middle aged. Oh? What gave it away? Using a blog as my primary literary medium?¹ Hm. But in fact, the APA defines 35 years as the end of “young adulthood.” Yeah. I found out via some shitpost on twitter when I was already 35, so it didn’t sit well with me then either. But my worries about aging began much sooner than that. See, even in my 20s, I feared I’d been wasting my life. I’d struggled with school and life and everything since graduating high school, arguably sooner, and nothing seemed to be going anywhere meaningful . I felt I had a limited social life, a dead-end job, no money, no great travels, a limping love life; I was, generally, a loser, wasting away... There were none of the usual hallmarks of success or happiness. And that scared me. Would my life have been worth it if I continued in this direction? Would it have been a “life well lived” by the end? So, this is my existential struggle. Even now, as I lurch ever nea...

Changing lanes.

I was driving home in some traffic last night when I drifted, in my mind, a long way back (about 20 years) to high school. I was caught in one of those periodic traffic slowdowns as I floated back; you know, those waves of congestion that seem to pass backward through the columns of cars in each lane. (I've heard they start because someone switches lanes, and in response, a rippling emergent slowness travels backward and outward as the cars behind it accommodate the change, one by one.) What drew me back to those younger days was that, back in high school, similar phenomena of congestion took place in the halls between classes, when eddies of young humans would get caught in and around those clumps of those chatting by lockers or retrieving books. Occasionally, backups would occur when groups of people got caught in these eddies, or collided with other groups by the lockers, and slowdowns would ripple back from there. Maybe it's not exactly the same, but as I drove it seemed si...

Oatmeal is tasty.

{slurps up berry-oatmeal-deliciousness} Indeed. I need to work on rebuilding a morning schedule. I can be zombie-like enough that I'll waste a perfectly good morning, and have often slept through many. And, really, it's such a useful time of day.