Skip to main content

Committing to quitting?

Ugh. I've been avoiding blogging about this for a reason. A probably dumb reason but still a reason. I've been thinking it's about time to quit smoking.

GASP. People refuse to expect my smoking habit more than they refuse to believe I'm not just barely 21 years old. I suppose I should be flattered--seeming both wholesome and young is surely useful somehow--but it's odd. Smoking is something I've partly taken for granted over the past 7 years even as I've grown to depend on it.

But lately I keep getting this odd feeling--"Why do I still smoke, anyway?" or "What's this really accomplishing for me?". The odd part is that, while I won't claim I'm not an addict, I'm not exactly a chainsmoker, either. I'm sure I smoke more than I realize but it's felt like only a pack and a half a week for at least 5 years. Maybe it's more like 2 packs or 2 1/2.

I've always felt I was more of a habitual smoker; after meals, before work, around bedtime. But as I've started considering this whole quitting possibility, I've begun wondering if that's really the case. There are definitely those times I yearn for a cigarette. Other times, I want--indulgently--to just smoke. I've begun to realize although I can't really justify either, they'll probably make quitting harder.

I've been avodiing blogging about this because I know that once people read this (because obviously I assume people, including everyone I know, read my blog) they're gonna hassle me. "How's quitting going?" or "Hey, aren't you supposed to be quitting?" and other pestering questions that, when all I want is a nice little smoke, get under my skin in the worst way.

So why am I blogging about it afterall? Well, partly for lack of things to blog about while needing to blog more, but partly because some part of me knows that nagging would actually be good for my attempts at quitting.

There's no plan as yet, mind you. Maybe I'll go cold turkey, just to prove to everyone I wasn't such an addict afterall; maybe I'll use the patch to make life easier. Who knows.

But now it's out there, let the {cringe} nagging begin.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Or just tell me what you think.

Other things that might interest you...

mini-BULLETTIME: Some ups & downs of a sober New Years Eve.

So yeah, I almost forgot New Years' was up & coming until about Wednesday. So I made some last minute plans based on what I found out from friends. There was some play and then a dance after; I couldn't afford the play, but the dance was free so naturally I crashed that part of the festivities. so, bullettime--in brief: up: I had a fucking blast by the end of it. Danced in the New Year, kissed people (only pecking; a bit lame, I guess, but hotter than nothing), and otherwise enjoyed myself quite exhuastively. down: Despite appearances, I can be painfully shy. I ended up meandering the snack/coffee area for like 20minutes because I knew no one. Well, almost no one; the few I did know kept disappearing on me.... up: I eventually did find some people I knew. After talking for a while we got to the dancing. We rocked that place hard core. down-ish: I guess I didn't get much better at breaking out of my shell.... down-ish: Hell, I still struggled, as usual, to get int...
Post a Comment
Read more

Oatmeal is tasty.

{slurps up berry-oatmeal-deliciousness} Indeed. I need to work on rebuilding a morning schedule. I can be zombie-like enough that I'll waste a perfectly good morning, and have often slept through many. And, really, it's such a useful time of day.
4 comments
Read more

Gardenzia carnivorus.

I recently got back into horticulture after a bad moment of burnout, and wouldn't ya know it, I'm back at it with carnivorous plants! Despite tweeting about it endlessly, I haven't actually explained how or why this started. Back in middle school, I helped my science teacher set up a carnivorous plant display. Nothing elaborate, mind you; a terrarium with a bunch of sphagnum moss and some pitcher plants, a sundew or two, maybe a Venus flytrap? Didn't leave much of an impression, except maybe that they died and that sucked.  shrug . A couple years later, I was in a bog near my grandmother's lake house, when things changed forever. I was in the back end of the canoe, and as my dad pulled the front end out of the water, I glanced to my right and spied, on a stump with some moss, sundews ( Drosera rotundifolia , to be precise). Drosera rotundifolia. Of course I recognized therm instantly—they're hard to mistake, with those the sparkling tentacles an...
Post a Comment
Read more