Skip to main content

Decisions.

Back in NYC. As lovely as ever, if a bit more confusing, but then that's mostly my own doing.

See, I could catch a bus home tonight OR I could stay at my friend's place and catch a bus tomorrow. Seems simple--but naturally I cannot allow that to be!!


See, if I catch a bus tonight, I need to be back in DC before the metro closes. So that means the 530pm, 6pm, or 7pm buses. Alternatively, I stay with my friend. Except I'd like to know if my staying over is still cool with him; right now he's finishing off/editing a term paper. So I don't want to pester him too much. Cuz that would be rude.

See what's going on here? It's usually referred to as willfulness. I'm trying to force my will on things around me--be it in this reluctance to just catch a bus now & know the Metro will still be running or in this insistence on staying with my friend. It isn't exactly as black & white as that, mayhaps, but the schematics are there.

In essence, my willfulness seems clearest to me in that reluctance and insistence I mentioned. I have general issues in letting go of things and letting things just be; right now, I'm clinging to'em, and it's fouling up any decision making process.

So, here's a thought: I don't have to make a decision right goddamn now. I could more or less aim for that 6pm or 7pm bus unless I hear from my friend; in that case I don't really have to be certain of anything until 5:30 or 5:45ish. So I could let him know what's up and type up draft 5 of my poem while I wait to hear back from him. That's productive; but maybe still a little controlling? Kind of cuts it close. and otherwise still feels a biiiiit wodgy, though better than sitting here anxiously waiting and doing nothing.

But, hell, I could just call him now, chat it out, and know. Right now I'm trying to decide everything on my own (more willfulness); I'm setting up all kindsa contingencies in case things don't work out in that way or they work out in this case and so on, all of which pretty much riding on this poor friend and his term paper. So maybe calling him could clear everything up and eliminate the waiting.

Hm, yes. That sounds a little more grown up, don't it?
Labels:
Location: W 43rd St, New York, NY, USA

Comments

Post a Comment

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Or just tell me what you think.

Other things that might interest you...

Oatmeal is tasty.

{slurps up berry-oatmeal-deliciousness} Indeed. I need to work on rebuilding a morning schedule. I can be zombie-like enough that I'll waste a perfectly good morning, and have often slept through many. And, really, it's such a useful time of day.
4 comments
Read more

Idle thinkings.

So I mused (to myself) a bit on this in the other day's post, but The other day I blogged about self-determination in Afghanistan . In that post, I referred to Max Fisher's article in The Atlantic , in which he explains the significance of the recent outbreaks of violence in Afghanistan in terms of muzzled self-determination. Part of me wanted to muse, then, on whether he really meant ' popular sovereignty ', though I soon figured he prolly didn't. Still, it was interesting, if utterly idle, to reflect on the differences between the terms, and what impact the choice of either would have had on the content of the argument. While self-determination deals with a nation's right to make decisions for itself without outside intervention, popular sovereignty seats the authority & legitimacy of a legislative body and its laws with the people it governs and is elected by. Still, though, if you look at the article he could have meant some mixture of either. T...
Post a Comment
Read more

lol what - and yay!

We'll get to the lulz in a second but first...I gotta brag a bit. "brag" may be a bit overwrought a word, actually, but still. I'm fucking stoked, dude. See, I ordered a wireless keyboard for my computer, and it arrived yesterday. And it works like sex on toast, baby. My old keyboard was just that--old. And wired. The latter wasn't such a bother until I set up the new desk, as you'll understand in a just moment. Meanwhile the keys stuck--don't even start--and made a shitton of noise (I only fully realized how obnoxious this was when I started using the new keyboard) and otherwise looked ugly and out of place. Also, I had a plan. See, the middle bit of the new desk's desktop is actually a flap that lifts up to reveal....well, a space. A sort of drawer. A place to put things (away), like, oooooh....say....a wireless keyboard & mouse when they're not in use/not needed? Oh yeah. It looks fabulous when everything's put away. So yeah, th...
1 comment
Read more