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Well, that much is good, at least.

First of all, a big thank you to everyone who offered help, showed support, and otherwise responded so warmly to Sunday's post about Cali. I've continued doing what I can to make things as easy and pleasant for her.

Today I figured out how to give her both of her meds--the bluey liquid stuff and the half pill. (It was the pill that was tough to figure out...cat owners will probably know what I'm talking about.)

In the last day or so, I've been partly heartened by people's feedback, but mostly by improvement she's shown--however marginal. She seems to be responding well to the meds (and the TLC :-) ); she's actually been eating and getting perkier.

She's taken to sleeping on my pillow next to my head while I sleep. This morning when I got up, she did part of her little flirty-thing--where she gives you these eyes and then rolls over with a chortle. I almost melted: it was so encouraging & heartwarming to see she isn't just a shell, a worn out husk, of the little girl I know & love: that she's still my funny little calico, if only somewhat.


So that was awesome. Other things aren't as purely fantastic. I'll be working at least 21 hours in the next 2 1/2 to 3 days because of this monster of a floorset at the store.

It's entirely likely they'll keep me on longer than I've been scheduled. And it's also entirely likely I'll allow it--and not (just) because I want the extra pay. I feel such absurd ownership and responsibility for my store; it's probably grown out of my "work-mode".

For all my laziness around the house and out in the world, I powerfully push myself to work hard as I can at work. Sometimes it's easier than other times, but I still try or at least want to. I've joked now and then that I have a manager's mindset in an associate's position.

So, much as I would like to trust my coworkers to take care of stuff (to my satisfaction, that is), part of me still so entirely prefers to do it all myself that if my manager asked, "Chris, could you stay an extra hour...or 3 or 4?", I'd probably say yes before she could finish.

It's definitely something to work on. A big offender in this latest 4th step inventory has been issues of Control. Surprising? Nah.
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Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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