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I suck at biffling. And lifing.

So Parker sent me a super concerned email last night. Apparently I've been really letting him down lately. Can't say I'm too surprised.

Let's face it: I've been anxious/depressed for at least 2 or 3 weeks now. I'm not even sure why. Maybe because it's February. Maybe it's those goddamnedfuckingshitlicking loans. Maybe it's having to look for another job. Again. Maybe it's feeling like a useless sack of--

{breathe, breathe...}

I can't say I'm too happy with myself either. I've been giving over to 'self-will' so much lately, it's shameful. Naturally, I'm feeling more than a little guilty and stupid and weak, but--as usual--I'm much too prideful to dare admit it or ask for help. It's a fun position to wedge oneself into, I can tell ya that.

One of the tricky, cruel things about self-will is how selfish it is. (Haha! See how clever that was!? Oy.) I tend to hurt the people I love and who love me. Like Parker. Or my parents. We'll stick to Parker for this post, though; they're a whole series of posts to themselves.

SO, to my one and only biffle--I'm sorry Parker Boo :\ We'll do aweseome saucesomes soon--maybe even today. Who knows. But, please, be patient with me; I love you, too.
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Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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