palmerpink

So today is the big day. Well, one of them. But it's the first one! So that's still a big deal. I love how I call this "The Move" as though it's the first and last time I'll ever move. Of course it isn't the first; though it could be the last--maybe I'll just keep renting this house forever .  Meh, not so likely. But as my dad pointed out last night, this is possibly the biggest move I've made yet. It's more or less the "There's no going back" move. Craaaaaazy . For those of you who don't know, I'm moving out to College Park, right next to campus (4 min bike ride from the center of campus, 20 min walk) for dirt cheap. As I said to my roommate when I gave her the key, "It's a shithole, but it's our  shithole now." And it's actually not that bad. There are things I poke fun at--the obviously ancient overhead lighting that's likely older than the house itself, always a source of bemusement ...

No, not really, but I did have a blast last night and damn proud of it. Three friends and I hit up some gay joints in town and made a night of it. Wonderful times were had and friendships were deepened. Except with Parker, who was clearly too straight to be cool like the rest of us. Bitch wouldn't even fake dance. But we forgiae him because he's sweet. See, I don't normally do stuff like this. I'm secretly kind of shy and a bit timid. Like a lot a bit. But it's something I want to do more--go out with friends, mingle with queers, check out hotties, get my ass grabbed now and then by weirdos (and occasionally hotties). It's a good time and something I know I don't do enough of. So when my friend Matthew invited me out, I jumped at it. When I got Aaron and Parker on board, I got pretty stoked. Part of why I never go out like this is, as I said, that shyness and stuff; having friends to go with, people to feel comfortable around--it's what I need to get...

So Parker and I are all kindsa bent on moving out. You know, once everything comes together. We have no idea where we're gonna move, when we're gonna move, or any of that. We just know we will  move and it will be awesome. With my full time job at Macy's and Parker's possible/probable assistant manager position, we're a helluva lot closer to  something  now than we were a year ago. And that is pretty rad. I don't know if you know this, but I'll be 25 at the end of this month. To some almost 25-year-olds in the throes of a quarter-life-crisis, living  anywhere that isn't his parents' basement seems vastly better than living in his parents' basement. There are considerations to be made, however.... For example, soon enough, Parker and I will likely be working at different malls. So something in between with plenty of ways to get around to things would be more than modestly convenient. I'd say possibly even downright necessary. Either way, ...

Interesting day; mundane post. Apologies up front. Today: I worked, I met up with Parker & Kial for lunch and had a lovely time, I worked out, I napped, I led a meeting, I came home, and I blogged. Er, am blogging. Whatever. Epiphanies were also had, and choices may be in motion. Read on:

I put Cali to sleep on Friday. It's been tough, naturally, and all too lifey. I'm sorry this is such a long one, guys; this isn't some frivolous update afterall. For those of you who want to skip to the poem, yeah, click here . Anyway.... I miss my cat. Let me just say that up front. I miss her. I really do. But....I'm sure there's some vast reasoning or magical thinking I could use to justify the decision entirely. I'll just leave it at—It was the right thing to do. Or, where that isn't good enough,—I did well by her. Even before the vet found the growth (probably lymphoma) in her tummy, I tried my best to treat her well—she was obviously sick. She made it easy by being adorable and playful and lovable most of the time and only preciously infuriating the rest of the time. She was an absolute brat last Winter—she couldn't eat her own food without puking and she'd find her way into any other kind of food out of desperation. Even dishwater, a...

In good news, Parker and I are going up to New York for a weekend at the end of July. I'm kinda excited. I feel a bit like a grownup--putting aside money for the trip, talking about bus tickets, even looking up some things to check out while we're there. I do feel like a bit of a dick for leaving most of the planning up to Parker (and Mani), but then it really was his deal from the start. In other news, I'm becoming reacquainted with some old, familiar anxiety. And some more recently acquired ways of dealing with it.

Parker recently got a Nintendo DS--which I kept stealing to play Pokemon. Yes, at my age. You have to realize that I was  the go-to guy in 6th grade for all things Pokemon. I nearly got sucked back into my addiction back around 10th grade but then summer ended. This time...I don't know if I can/want to stop it......... XD Anyway, the obvious solution was to get me a DS of my own. You can imagine how frustrated it was making Parker finding his DS constantly missing. Yup, I was that dickish about it. So yesterday we traded in a PS2 and a buncha its games and some games for gamecube and also pawned an old Xbox and its games. We walked up to the GameStop clerk and the following conversation ensued: Me : We'd like to buy one of them pre-owned DS-lites for $80... Clerk : Okay...not a problem.....do you want any specific color or will anything--? Me : I want pink. Clerk : .....seriously? That's right, this is really happening. I have a pink DS-lite. And it looks lik...

Last year, around this time, Parker and I first met. It was a bit of a messy meeting—confused by boys and odd misunderstandings—but I wouldn't trade it for the world, any of it. We met at Rocky Horror. This was before I actually joined the E Street cast but I'd been a good handful of times. We'd each planned to go with friends, but were more or abandoned at the last minute. I was in good spirits. The parade had been fun, the night was young, I hadn't been to Rocky in much too long . I'd just bought a hotdog and flirted/caught up some with an old friend, when I turned and saw Parker just sitting to the side watching about with his trademark childlikeness—that hopeful, open, soft look of possible adventure. I was feeling unusually confident and he was hot/cute/there so I said hey and we got to talking. I soon found out he'd never been to Rocky—a virgin! >:-D—and had also been ditched, so naturally I took him under my wing. Later came the rockier bits, ...

We luv da Parkerz Happy (almost) one year anniversary! That's right--we met for the first tine after last year's pride parade. Ah, memories.

Yup, it's pretty much proof of the second coming. Or something otherwise fantastic & (probably) inevitable. Parker and I are starting a comic together. Obviously, it's about us biffles and our biffling and our forever weird/fabulous biffleship. There's one where I nerd out about Doctor Who (like, I even name the Novikov Self-Consistency principle...) while Parker fails at paying attention utterly. (That one has some really sweet references to one of my favorite Radiohead songs, too. If I do say so myself.) Another brings up one of my favorite of our inside jokes--"ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT!?". The third's pretty simple--Parker's recently discovered the phrase "anal fisting" makes me squeal in eeeewness. What's funny is for once I'm not the slacker/lame-ass slowpoke. I've written three scripts so far, and now I'm just waiting for him to actually  draw them. In his defense, I've loved his concept doodlings so far. He...

Not really, but it was a funny joke all the same last week. Apparently, Park Police happened upon a pair of joyriding tweens and got to play big cops for an hour. One of those things where the guy pulled up behind them at a stop sign, the kids--being either high/drunk, stupid, or just plain bored--assumed this guy was a real cop ( and after them) and took off. Real winners these kids. Of course, Mr Park Police gave chase. It's the dream of all Park Police, (mall) Security, and other breeds of Rent-a-Cops that they will someday level up & evolve into  real cops...or is that just Pokémon? Somehow or another they wound all wound up at the elementary school near my house (regression much? as I said, these kids are  winners .). They hopped the kerb with the stolen car and promptly fled on foot through the school yard. Leaving a confused and bewildered Park Police guy. (This wasn't covered in the training seminar, see.) Anyway, we (Parker, Kial, and myself) happened t...

I wrote on my litty blog earlier that I've a real need to get some writin' done today/this week. Well, no luck so far and not likely to have much better before work, but still. I'm off at 8 tonight so it shouldn't be too hard to fiddle about with something. It's good though, whether I actually get to write or not,--this itching to write. I think it ups my chances of actually doing some, frankly. So no matter what I think this'll still turn out well, man. Maybe even some kind of win. Oh, I mentioned in that post a new project I'm seriously considering: Parker and I may start collaborating on a comic book together. Basically about us because we're raging cartoon characters/cool kids, and all the world should be able to experience it. Yeah, something like that. But I think it could be fun. We've already got about 3 ideas ready to be developed. I'll let y'all know what comes of it.

The thinking. It's always fleeting itself away right when I think I have it. It's terribly irksome. Might as well watch more cartoons or read more comix. You read me. Comix. Fuck, this hand is still acting up? My "checkup" is thursday and my borked hand still aches. I mean, I should prolly be laying off any strain--like work or typing--but I really just can't. It's all too tempting/easy to forget what's good for me. And that's pretty much been true for me my whole life. So I've resumed my life's goal of reading all of the underground comic Cerebus . It ran from 1977 to about 2004, and was produced by Dave Sim, who over the course of the comic's 6000 page run, as I've just found out, became some kind of raving nutter/crack genius. Either way, I started the damn thing about a year ago (?) and never really got around to finishing...I'd sworn then I'd finish all 300 issues by the end of last year. 3 months after that ...

So Parker sent me a super concerned email last night. Apparently I've been really letting him down lately. Can't say I'm too surprised. Let's face it: I've been anxious/depressed for at least 2 or 3 weeks now. I'm not even sure why. Maybe because it's February. Maybe it's those goddamnedfuckingshitlicking loans. Maybe it's having to look for another job. Again. Maybe it's feeling like a useless sack of-- {breathe, breathe...} I can't say I'm too happy with myself either. I've been giving over to 'self-will' so much lately, it's shameful. Naturally, I'm feeling more than a little guilty and stupid and weak, but--as usual--I'm much too prideful to dare admit it or ask for help. It's a fun position to wedge oneself into, I can tell ya that. One of the tricky, cruel things about self-will is how self ish it is. (Haha! See how clever that was!? Oy.) I tend to hurt the people I love and who love me. Like Par...

So I've "discovered" a new way to come up with Post Ideas when my brain is dead. Random phrase generator . Oh yeah. Set the noun to "average" and you'll get some hot ones. However, tonight it appears my brain is just too dead. It musta been all that ice skating last night. Er, learning to ice skate. Yeah. I doubt that graceless excuse I was perpetrating on ice really counted as  skating , per se. So, yeah, that and all the 3rd step ideation that inspired. I'll hafta write about that later, too.... So, yeah, tonight my brain's just too dead to do much of anything. I know I need to rewatch the/a bad movie to review for tomorrow, but somehow it's just not up for that. Apparently Doctor Who takes less brain power than a bad movie (review). Don't you ever repeat those words back to me. Ever. I will snap people. Speaking of which, though, I'm trying to get Parker (and me) caught up on season 2 of the new series (of Doctor Who; I keep for...

So I'm taking Parker's shift at AE since I got him sick. Also becauses I desperately need the hours. I've been so freaked out since I got that statement from Sallie Mae; I owe them a lot . It has me scared all over again, just as I thought I'd begun to figure out all that money shit. At this point I'm probably going to get a forebearance on the Sallie Mae stuff and consolidate the other 50 loans and try to get those payments graduated or some such. I want to pay of  some of these loans. I'd feel too irresponsible otherwise. So I'm gonna do some quickish workout then head in early; maybe call up Sallie Mae and get some concrete facts. Hm...... ...aaaand, sigh. I'm so tensed up over this. Sighfucksigh. Money scares the shit out of me, and here it's complicated by being in several different loans and to multiple institutions. So it's a lot  and hard to keep track of >.< I guess now's a good time for what they call "spiritu...

That dork; he's so proud of hisself cuz he shot the video, wrote & recorded the music, and posted the whole thing all in about 5 hours. Actually that's pretty sweet. Congrats to mah roomie/biffle ^.^ There's some pretty sweet guitar work; pretty much awesome. Mhm.

This week's Bad Movie Monday review is a bit different. Not only has it almost been posted on a Monday--it's Tuesday! :D--but, and brace yourselves, folks, it's a  vlog   This week I reviewed Big Meat Eater. Here's the badmovies.org review and here's a strangely optimistic one explaining all the Canadianness. Oh yeah, kids. This is really happening. Thanks to Parker for his help (ie, slave labor) editing. Hopefully this'll give the review a more...digestible size. Also, prove to everyone I'm fucking weird/sarcastic/awesome. ALSO! Those are not my new glasses. Those were just some smarty-pants reading glasses I wanted to wear because it was the 4th take and I was tired and feeling grouchy.

This one'll be a quickie, I swear. I really can't afford to have y'all charge any extra.... So my manager was getting rid of a light-fixture-thing from the store and thought of Parker and me. She figured a creative person or two could find all kindsa neat ways of using it. Instead, she ended up with us. Kidding, kidding...as far as I could tell it's some kind of 'light box'. You'd set it up and, possibly?, set it up with, like, letters...and stuff....and it would light them up? maybe? Unfortunately my manager threw out all the stuff on how to set it up--and what the fucker's even supposed to look like when it's all set up. Joy So my friend and I haul ass to get it all the way back to my house. It's heavy and it's big. We had to put down his back seat and force it through the trunk. So we get it home. After some fuss, Parker and I pop the rest of the cardboard box open and take a look at the.....disappointment. My guess is we'r...

Rocky Horror was pretty good last night. I debuted as MC, and hopefully will have the privilege of MC'ing future shows. I may have sucked up some bits, but overall I had a lot of fun and the audience seemed to respond real good-like. :) All 12 of them. XD I also survived the whole week on nothing but a baggie of dimes. I'd found a cash of change back when I rearranged my room 'round Thanksgiving. Oh, there were quarters, but, of course, they were the first to go. The dimes actually lasted quite a while--I estimate there must've been at least $10 or $15 worth :) I haven't entirely decided what movie to review for tomorrow; considering it's sunday and I'd still need to re-view before I can even review it, that could cut it close. If all else fails, I'll just do  The Green Slime --which I only narrowly survived. No, not so much cuz of it's awfulness (it  was pretty awful though...) as apparently the green slime's...sound effect pierced some d...