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Discursive, or not.

I’d consider myself very online; Facebook, Insta, and Twitter, the latter more recently replaced with Bluesky. And yet I’ve never been tempted to engage in “Discourse.”

“Discourse” probably means different things to different folks, but from what I’ve observed it's online discussion that can often end up heated, vitriolic, and even toxic. And some people thrive on it—on putting people in their place, one-upping each other rhetorically, and being “right” all the time.

But not me. Maybe I’m too weak willed or easily flustered or conflict averse, or maybe I just don’t need it to enjoy the internet on my own terms. Instead, I trade in memes and affirmation: I love being silly and supportive with my friends because that makes me happy.

I can’t speak to why people go headfirst into Discourse on a daily basis (they sound exhausted by it a lot of the time, tbh), but I also won’t judge them for it. I do know, tho, it’s not for me or and isn't how I use social media.

On Twitter—which used to make up about 75% of my social media usage but is famously Discourse heavy¹—I somehow gamed the algorithm out of showing Discourse, so all I saw was silly gay nerds being silly, gay, nerdy and occasionally slutty. And it was great; it was ideal. 

With Bluesky,² I’ve mostly followed people I vibe with and the feeds I like, avoiding spending too much time in ones where I expect to encounter a lot of Discourse. I still catch glimpses of Discourse, so I have an idea what’s going on, but most of what I see is still silly gay nerds and company.

With Instagram, well, I feel like there’s less Discourse unless one ventures into the comments on some influencer’s post, but I’m already not much about that, so... I don’t use Facebook as much as I used to, but I likewise avoid getting deep into comment sections out of habit. I focus on memes and personal photos with both.

So, I guess for me social media is more about fun and friendship than yelling at strangers. And I think that’s ok. I do sometimes wonder if I should have “stronger” opinions and more readily defend them, but I’m not sure that makes me a bad person or anything.

At the end of the day, I’m not sure what I’m missing out on, but it doesn’t sound as nice—to me. 

But what do y’all think about the Discourse? Do you thrive on it, feel exhausted by it, or avoid it altogether?


Endnotes

1. That and porn. Discourse and porn, sometimes at the same time!

2. I could make a whole post on why I love Bluesky—custom feeds, good back-and-forth engagement, cute guys—but suffice to say it's my main social media now, fully replacing Twitter. I sure hope it lasts...

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