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trying, really trying.

I've been down the last couple of weeks. It was really bad about 3 weeks ago but then "seemed" to go away only to come back really subtly in the last week or so. More of a listlessness & malaise this week. Not helpful.

All the same, I "helped" my bestfriend May get a job and start thinking about apartments and now that's got me all motivated. So even despite my malaisey-listlessness, I've managed to be somewhat productive this week. I actually applied to some places and even contemplated driving practice with mom. w0wza.

Despite today's late start (noon? really??) I'm determined to apply to at least a handful more places and actually figure out this whole resume business. Maybe even do some driving if it stops raining.... 0.o

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Oatmeal is tasty.

{slurps up berry-oatmeal-deliciousness} Indeed. I need to work on rebuilding a morning schedule. I can be zombie-like enough that I'll waste a perfectly good morning, and have often slept through many. And, really, it's such a useful time of day.

I could do worse.

Lord knows I really want to rant right now; I've been angrier, sure, and I've felt more hurt, but the temptation is there to tear into this guy. But I'm supposed to be a grown up. He's supposed to be my friend--and I do care about that. I'm not supposed to even be taking these things so seriously anymore. So why the fuck am I? So I was dating a guy recently; we had four dates. I thought we were really starting to click. I'll admit it--I'd even begun to like the guy. Not quite like-like him, but there was a definite fondness growing. As I was learning more about him, I was liking what I learned more and more. We seemed to have chemistry, too. It was pretty nice how I could talk about smart stuff with him without either a) feeling like I was supposed to be talking down to him or b) feeling like he had to challenge me to a contest of who was the smartest fuck in the room. It was natural, intelligent, fun conversation. And that was really cool. I was defin...