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(My) Poetry: Youtube Reading...

Yeah, I did it. And with a poem I wasn't really done with (read: hadn't actually revised). But it came out decent. I tried not to be nervous, and I tried to be prepared/expressive/natural/real and that went...well? I guess?

Thanks goes out to my friend Parker who insisted, filmed, and edited the whole damn thing. We'll probably do more, just a warning....

Well, here it is along with text of the poem as of the reading (some words may differ; I'm typing what's in my pad not what I said....):





I find it kind of funny
How for someone like me
--Renowned for the short breadth of his attention span--
How well and how long
You've held it;
How easily you've distracted it
How vastly it's whored itself
In vain fantasy
Of someday
Catching yours. 
Through all this
All these times we've lost touch
You've moved away or moved back
Through all the confusions & boyfriends
I've still thought of you
(In one way or another...).
And yet for all my attention
I'm still "just a friend"
To you.

It makes one wonder what it's all for
Whether to believe in "Soul Mates"
Or "True Love"
Or even of simpler
Plainer things
Like time spent
And time wasted,
The merits of ardor,
Of consistency & diligence & sincerity.
It makes me wonder
Where I've gone wrong
What I've done
(Or haven't...);
What I'd need to do
To capture your attention
As cruelly
As you've held mine. 
Yeah, you can bet your sweet ass imma edit that shit, reupload a reading/posting, and force you all to sit through it all over again. BUT BETTERER THIS TIME. Hellz yeah.

Interesting note: Naturally, the feelings were inspired by a real life person, but some of the structure/style/"technique" if I can presume that much ability & craftsmanship, was inspired by one of my favorite poems, an early one by W.H. Auden, "The Letter". It has possibly the most ecstatically sad use of the come/cum pun I've ever found, and--dude--that's one old ass, popular pun. Like, Shakespeare uses it. But this is probably the only time the laughter is this bittersweet, and it's gorgeous.
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Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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