palmerpink

I'll have to remember that title; it's probably wasted on this. Or maybe--just maybe!--this'll actually be the last time I mess up like this! Yeah! So Friday I was supposed to meet with my sponsor. Somehow I also got in my head I was finally going to get my Learners Permit renewed. (Yeah, about that. Long story. Try to suspend judgment until I can get through this. Speaking of which, why is this so difficult? It can't just be the whole honesty thing. I've gotten plenty good at self-effacing honesty--humility, too, evidently. Unfocused? Maybe. Probably. Oh well.) Maybe it was that my sponsor wanted to slide our normal meeting time up a little; maybe it was that old familiar irrational nervousness about the MVA; maybe it was trying to plot out things in the evening time-line. Whatever it was, it all went down like dominoes. I "dodged" the MVA even after securing ride possibilities from my dad to simplify things. I didn't get in touch with my spons...

I just got a write-up third hand on ADHD and negative thoughts. I'd read things like it before, but this one by Beth Main, CAC , an ADHD coach, gave me pause for thought. And an idea for a blogpost. Cuz I'm a cheap bastard like that :D I've long had problems with getting stuck in infinite loops of negativity. Joy. There have been bunches of reasons for it over the years, but I'd never known it was actually a symptom of ADHD. Specifically, they're called ruminations , and are apparently quite a common symptom. In the write-up, Beth gave some suggestions on how to break the rumination cycle. I thought I'd take a moment to mention a few in a personalized context and maybe add one or two of my own. Journal. I do journal (when I can find my damn journal....), but obviously I also blog. A lot. When shit gets to buggin' me, I sometimes blog about it. I've tried this for many years but with recent developments this has turned into something of an actually...

So I'm still a bit irked up in the head over a fight (?) I had with a good friend last night. I've slept on it so I feel better, but I was pretty headfucked over it earlier. I'm sure there are better circumstances to plug my best friend/roommate's fuckin neat-ass youtube work , but at least I can bring something positive out of griping about  this fight with that other friend...? maybe? So I've known Parker for a lil while now, and he's my best friend & roommate, and I fucking love this kid. Music is his life, basically; he films, edits, and sets all of his youtube videos to his own music. And they're fucking brilliant & adorkable; just the kinda people I like to be around, eh? :) Seriously, check out his stuff--he just uploaded a video last night! So I'm talking to my friend, and I tell him quite earnestly--adoring fanboy that I am--to check out Parker's stuff . But not only does he refuse to, he refuses to rather bitchily. He can...

My urge to poeticize this is pretty intense, however my thoughts are scattered. So there's very few people I actually despise; at the moment only one really comes to mind. The other day a boy I've really liked for a long while now--with whom I used to hook up & hang out with adorably quite a bit--informed me he was gonna go sex about with this faggot I dislike.