palmerpink

Interesting day; mundane post. Apologies up front. Today: I worked, I met up with Parker & Kial for lunch and had a lovely time, I worked out, I napped, I led a meeting, I came home, and I blogged. Er, am blogging. Whatever. Epiphanies were also had, and choices may be in motion. Read on:

I had a real long talk with my manager yesterday. It was good--overdue but grown up. It left me feeling the need to change how I act and treat myself. Shit's gonna get serious, bitches. Or so I hope. So, after the conversation, I was kinda pissed at myself. Possibly--hopefully--a good kinda pissed. And I think I came away having learned some important shit. I hope I can keep these lessons present in mind as they're as relevant as they are significant.

So I've been working this parttime gig at Macy's. Visual merchandising--from 8 to 1, which means I have to get up pretty goddamn early. I did pretty well today; I'm just about used to this sleep schedule. I was outta bed around 6:30, maaan....nuts. The rest of the week was a bit mixed: some days I ran late (only hadda get a ride from mom once) other days roughly on time. Today I was running early and so that was heartening. I really like working here so far--and not entirely because I'm getting paid more and have a moderately substantial number of hours. the work is good, even paced, and I feel appreciated. I do really well with that. I like getting some positive feedback overall; it doesn't need to be fawning or worshipful. Like my manager has tested me sayingthey things like "thank you for the hard work" or "you did well on the garlands, im grateful for your help". But we can discuss why I like that so much later. Right now I'm almost...

I was just tweeting how utterly necessary it was to go outta my way trying to fix something I didn't even need. @palmerpink: So I've been trying to McGyver my laptop's AC adapter back to life without actually whipping out my pocket knife on a moving bus. #smartkid @palmerpink: All of this so I can blog from the bus--which I could as easily have done from this phone. #smartkid @palmerpink: I have at least figured out what the problem was. Now all I need is some electrician's tape and a pocket knife--oh. #smartkid Seriously, there I was trying every gadget on my pocket knife but the fork & spoon to pop open the adapter to see if a wire had come unsoldered. Only to remember once I'd popped it open that the problem was with the wire at the other end of the adapter. Le sigh. I tend to go through these adapters every few months. I'm bot sure if I'm especially abusive or they're especially defective, but I've gotten used to hawking up 10bucks eve...

Back in NYC. As lovely as ever, if a bit more confusing, but then that's mostly my own doing. See, I could catch a bus home tonight OR I could stay at my friend's place and catch a bus tomorrow. Seems simple--but naturally I cannot allow that to be!!

I feel less accomplished than I kinda expected to feel. Some of the chores weren't as doable as we'd hoped, and I spent less time writing/thinking than I'd hoped. But oddly I'm not exactly disappointed by it. It's nice just being here (how Hallmark....). But, seriously, I think I managed to get in some good relaxation time, and even if I haven't reached any ULTIMATE CONCLUSIONS on the things that've been on my mind, I've managed at least a bit of thinking I doubt I'd otherwise have found time/space for. I also got to spend some precious quality time with my grandmother; Lord, I love that lady :) It's nice to spend some time with her, one on one, and know she's doing well, yeh? Yeh :) Anyway, I'm strangely tired-ish again; I may rest some more. Fml, man; nothing 's gonna get done. But I may actually be okay with that....

I've been wanting to write a poem about this place--this lake, our house here--for the longest time. I thought of this title for it yesterday, when I arrived up the driveway and stood near the house and breathed the air, thinking, "Oh, this lake that never leaves". Because that's something I love most about it. Of all the moves and changes and (alleged) growing up over the years, this lake, this house, has always been right here. My mother and I realized that one perfect morning on the dock, at that mysterious hour before the wind picks up and the lake is flawlessly smooth. She pointed out how for both of us it's the only thing that's been constant in our lives; we've both come here yearly since we were born. A respite we can rely on; an anchoring place. I was getting worried that I wouldn't make it up here this year. I kept being detained by work or miscommunications with family. But I got here, and I am so happy I did. It's just about freezin...

And don't you ever forget it. I actually like buses. Buses and trains. I know a lot of people who abhore buses of all kinds--from Metrobus to Greyhound. But I ain't like them fools. Buses are cheap and generally convenient. Like how this ticket only cost me $17. Like how this bus has wifi and power outlets--and its seats aren't that bad, really. Nicer than most carseats. ("No smoking or drinking of any alcoholic beverages...."  my bus driver has just asked me. Two things I could poke fun at here. First of all--I can't ever remeber jonesing for a beer or bourbon on a bus even when I was drinking. Second--"smoking...any alcoholic beverages..." Since when could you smoke booze!? Why wasn't I informed of this!? hoorah, syntactic ambiguity !) So, yeah; for a mere 17 bucks and 4.5ish hours' time, I'll be in NYC. Love it. Especially the part where I'll have a good 2 and a half hours to kill in Manhattan before catching my second bus....

So tomorrow I head up to Connecticut for the rest of the week. I'll be doing a good deal of chores--closing down the lakehouse for the season, painting and mending, and so forth--but I look forward to the time spent among the trees and the leaves, the wind and the cold. (Mind you, it's not normally that  cold when I visit, but I've never been up there this late in fall...and it's in the mountains...like, the highest mountain or something... it's in a cute town, though ....) Anyway, I love this place. My family's had a lakehouse up there since the 1930s; it's got this stolid, stonelike quality to it. Immovable. Of course it's really made of wood, and being 80 years old needs a bit of work now and then. Which is my excuse for going up this weekend, to do some work to fix it up a bit and close it down for the season. I'm excited. A bit of time to go clear my head and look at some nature and think, if I must, or write, if I can. Honestly, just...

I used to be that guy who knew the news. Really, really  knew what was up in the world. Like, every day I'd read the Washington Post , The New York Times , stuff from the  Guardian , and various news/analysissy blogs. I was a Journalism hopeful at the time, so these things were basically mandated reading. (I was also eagerly avoidant, then, and so this was a wonderfully purposeful means of killing time.)After I failed that journalism class, that habit fell by the wayside. But I've always missed it. Partly, that wonderful feeling of being knowledgeable; partly, also, that ability to explain important things/current events to other people. I felt I had a grasp on the world around me, which for a out-and-out space cadet like me is something kinda mind boggling. I'm not sure why I never quite picked up the habit/news-bug again. I think I always thought it'd be such a time commitment (indeed, reading even just the A sections or frontpages of all  dem papers can get a ...

Yesterday's post kinda sucked. One of those meandering tl;dr things I churn out every now & then and instantly regret. Oh yeah, I just did that: I made a totally unnecessary link to urban dictionary so you could understand me better (cuz I'm just cute & obnoxious like that). Today I'm thinking a lot on sex, literature, twitterfinds, brains, and um...newsness? I'm hoping to keep this post short (unlike yesterday's) and mostly coherent (also unlike yesterday's). At the least, to the point. We'll see how that works out.

My store had its holiday floorset this past weekend; the last 2 nights/days were a hellish, chaotic mass of stress and physical exertion. It was probably my 10th floorset, at least, but this time I couldn't help getting extremely frustrated and surly towards the end. I love my store and can't deny having contemplated some kinda management role from the very beginning. I like coordinating people, and recently I've wanted to hold people accountable for things like tasking pace. But as exciting as that could be, I'm not so sure it's what I want anymore. Naturally, it can be a long process to become a manager, but I'm aiming to get the seasonal shift lead position at my store this holiday season. Essentially it's a temporary key holder position meant to help with the extended hours and rise in traffic. It can also lead to further management positions. While this is a perfectly exciting possibility, it will be stressful. Hopefully I can figure out how to k...

I had wanted to post about my work-related frustrations, but that'll have to wait. I have to head into work in a few. Still muchly frustrated, fear not. Meanwhile, I finally typed and posted a draft of the poem I'm working on . You should really check it out; I'd muchly like the feedback.

This was a wonderful trip. At leaat a full day too short for my liking, but rewarding and wonderful all the same. I had worried at parts that I would disappoint somebody. Like Mani by not really sitting down and catching up, or the friends I was meeting up with being indecisive or overpaced & underplanned, or Parker by leaving him behind with Mani yesterday. But it actually turned out pretty alright. Parker had a blast palling about with Mani and his friends, and hanging out with one of my friends ended coincidingly with when my other friend wanted to hang. And everyone, it seems, came away happy. Parker got experience parts of New York he didn't back when his family used to live here. Mani got to enjoy (? :-P) hosting a pair of nutballs for the weekend. I got caught up with two really awesome guys I could totally see working closely with or otherwise keeping in much better touch with. Revisiting this old town, the memories it holds; taking some ownership and reliving a sli...

<p>So I'm partway on my way to NYC for the weekend. It's been a while since I had a real, solid visit though my last two--bookending a trip to Connecticut--were lovely and marvelous.</p> <p>This feels kind of last-minute; I'm still not sure what all we'll be doing when we get up there. It still feels like only last week when Parker reminded me, "You know our New York trip is next week, right?" Oh, wait, I guess it <i>was</i> 'just last week'.</p> <p>I like the way this (mini)roadtrip feels. I guess I'm just so used to the way my parents freak out and micromanage and overpack and yell at eachother (something they otherwise never really do...). I seemed to almost inherit some of that anxiety as the weekend approached--mostly out of worry for how/when/what we'd be doing.</p> <p>But then I let go somewhat, somehow. Like, I'd call my friends to check in and coordinate, and while they'd...

The love of a cat can be difficult to understand exactly. Mine, for example, likes to bring me dead mice, birds, squirrels, and even bats from time to time. Others just like to snuggle and purr (he does that, too, of course). A few weeks ago, as an act of ultimate kitteh luffs, he brought me fleas. I love Marcel, really I do. But I tried really hard to hate him for this. (The problem is he's too damned cute & sweet to hate....) All the same, whether I love or hate the damnable fuzzhead, he got my bed infested with fleas. And possibly my bedroom. And maybe even the entire basement Parker & I live in. Sigh. So it's been a bit weird since I figured out the flea problem. Changing sheets every night, vacuuming tons, setting up a dehumidifier to control the fleas some. I honestly haven't personally found any more on my bed, but who knows.... I'm paranoid with formication --everywhere I go, I'm convinced there's fleas on me. Anytime some hair on my forea...