palmerpink

So today is my second day back at work. Gradually resuming responsibilities; time to be a grownup again and have a job and show up and do it. It's a bit odd but easier than I'd expected, much easier actually. I expected to totally derp the menu or drop something or even tear myself open from the inside. Who knows what kinda crazy hijinks awaited me. But Monday night wasn't bad at all, really. Not only did I survive the shift, but I made more mondy than I need to average in order to stay afloat financially. And that was a pretty slow night. So that was pretty excellent, dude. Who knows, the rest of the week could totally suck, but I don't think it could suck as disastrously as I'd been fearing. And that's pretty sweet. In the meantime, this coffee needs to kick the fuck in cuz I'm still spaced out.

So today I begin my trek up to Philly. I'm going up to visit a friend in Baltimore and stay the night, then on to Philly tomorrow. The curious thing of it is the Baltimore friend; rather, that's what's on my mind. He recently started exploring his attraction to men, so it's not surprising that he warned me that he doubts he'd be able to offer anything serious. Yes, I'm probably going to sleep with him, as if that didn't go without saying. But for now it will probably be that and friendship. I'm pretty okay with this. I've found it's actually not that uncommon in the gay community to have good friends you sometimes sleep with or fool around with, but don't have much expectation of a relationship, at least to begin with. Yeah, it can get messy sometimes; sometimes feelings develop despite themselves. But I can say from personal experience that I've at least made out with a good number of my gay friends and remained friends after. Not th...

The trick to expectations isn't so much to not have any as it is to identify their merit, accept their context, and allow them to change. Failure to do so? Likely causes that disappointed feeling you can never quite pin down when things don't work out. Yesterday was my birthday; last night was going to be 'part 1' of my birthday celebrations. A sort of mild midweeky get together. I had hoped--I had expectations of--a good group of friends would come, we'd see something thought provoking, and then get some food and discuss stuff--life, the universe, and everything, or just the movie. Why were those my expectations? I like doing those things; I value them highly. I like my friends for their points of view, their senses of humor, their articulateness; I love discussion as a means of exploring different perspectives and relishing being alive & close to people. And I love a good movie. Really, really love. I don't get to do these things anywhere near enough,...