Skip to main content

Quitting is hard.

But let's see if it sticks.

I've decided to quit smoking—I even got the patch and everything—but it's been difficult. Besides the usual "wanting a cigarette like all the time" stuff, today I'm feeling roughed up with irritability.

What I'm not sure of is whether it's just my usual (high) level of irritability mixed with stupid, frustrating circumstances or whether it really is withdrawal irritability crossed with my usual (high) irritability mixed with stupid, frustrating circumstances. I'm thinking (read: hoping) it's the latter. Cuz it's bad today.

I'm waiting in a library for Anthony; we're supposed to work on our writing—he, on his novel; I, on my short story—but my brain is too jazzed with the irritables to get anything done. Whence the decision to blog.

I can't say this has gotten me anywhere (I'm certainly no nearer, I feel, to writing-writing), but, um, yay?


In other news, I finally caved and bought a Nintendo Switch. I've also decided to skin the fuck out of it to make it pretty. I also got a bunch of accessories. And stuff!

I posted on Instagram a funny thing: The Amazon shipping deets had the option for 2-day shipping ... but according to the date of arrival, it very clearly wasn't arriving for 7 days. Oops. Apparently it's because of Hurricane Florence. How charming of her, denying me my Switch for an extra 5 days and all.


In other other news, Anthony talked me into sneaking up to NYC this weekend when I'm supposed to be working from home. I was reluctant until it was decided we'd go up Friday morning so I'd get in Friday afternoon and evening because otherwise I'd be working all weekend and only enjoying Saturday night or some such.

Not. Worth. It.

But it's okay now! And we're having dinner with my friend/ex Mani and his beau Friday night, which should be lovely.

But then, all the working. Ew. I'm trying to corral some New York friends into joining me on a break at Starbucks, but we'll see. That'd up the Worth It factor of the whole endeavor, although I'm sure we'll do other, perfectly interesting things when I'm not working...


Anyway, I do hope I quit smoking for good this time. At the very least, it's costing me a lot of money. I swear I've been smoking nearly a pack a day, and a over $7 a pack, that adds up. But further, I've been crazy into fitness lately, and smoking is definitely affecting all that. It's hard to cardio when you can't breathe as well as you could. But of course, there's also the whole cancer and COPD stuff to worry about. I guess that'd be bad news bears, too.

But it's tough. No surprise there. The patch is, I hope, helping, and there's the welbutrin I'm on. I have read it's really at it's worst in terms of cravings in the first 3 days, so hopefully things will get easier. At this point, I keep forgetting, somewhat, that I'm quitting; I'll just unwittingly be looking forward to a cigarette then realize it's never gonna happen.

But I want to quit. So I'm gonna quit. Or stay quit. Whichever.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Or just tell me what you think.

Other things that might interest you...

mini-BULLETTIME: Some ups & downs of a sober New Years Eve.

So yeah, I almost forgot New Years' was up & coming until about Wednesday. So I made some last minute plans based on what I found out from friends. There was some play and then a dance after; I couldn't afford the play, but the dance was free so naturally I crashed that part of the festivities. so, bullettime--in brief: up: I had a fucking blast by the end of it. Danced in the New Year, kissed people (only pecking; a bit lame, I guess, but hotter than nothing), and otherwise enjoyed myself quite exhuastively. down: Despite appearances, I can be painfully shy. I ended up meandering the snack/coffee area for like 20minutes because I knew no one. Well, almost no one; the few I did know kept disappearing on me.... up: I eventually did find some people I knew. After talking for a while we got to the dancing. We rocked that place hard core. down-ish: I guess I didn't get much better at breaking out of my shell.... down-ish: Hell, I still struggled, as usual, to get int...
Post a Comment
Read more

Oatmeal is tasty.

{slurps up berry-oatmeal-deliciousness} Indeed. I need to work on rebuilding a morning schedule. I can be zombie-like enough that I'll waste a perfectly good morning, and have often slept through many. And, really, it's such a useful time of day.
4 comments
Read more

Gardenzia carnivorus.

I recently got back into horticulture after a bad moment of burnout, and wouldn't ya know it, I'm back at it with carnivorous plants! Despite tweeting about it endlessly, I haven't actually explained how or why this started. Back in middle school, I helped my science teacher set up a carnivorous plant display. Nothing elaborate, mind you; a terrarium with a bunch of sphagnum moss and some pitcher plants, a sundew or two, maybe a Venus flytrap? Didn't leave much of an impression, except maybe that they died and that sucked.  shrug . A couple years later, I was in a bog near my grandmother's lake house, when things changed forever. I was in the back end of the canoe, and as my dad pulled the front end out of the water, I glanced to my right and spied, on a stump with some moss, sundews ( Drosera rotundifolia , to be precise). Drosera rotundifolia. Of course I recognized therm instantly—they're hard to mistake, with those the sparkling tentacles an...
Post a Comment
Read more