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A step apart.

And in a spasmodic shock, suddenly I find myself on the verge of moving out. Or something like that.

Yesterday, Parker, I, and our friend Steph went around to a couple of apartment leasing offices and asked questions and looked at rents & square footages & numbers of bedrooms. Then we went to Pizza Hut to talk serious. Is this really happening? Suddenly I find myself talking things like weekly roommate meetings and shares of rent and pros+cons lists. Suddenly, things I'd been writing about months ago are just happening.

Of course, they aren't really just happening. We (read: Parker) got off our asses and started doing shit for a change. But I'm a good team player; I can fall in step--and run with it. I've already mathed out rent share scenarios and roommate contingencies. I'm planning to research some other apartment places in the area. I've even started thinking outside of the box and considered not rooming with Parker. It's a scary thought but may be necessary in the short term.

It is amazing how much more I'm capable of than I give myself credit within the whispering catacombs of my own mind. Once I get going and get going in earnest, I can actually surprise myself. I should probably let me surprise myself more; could end up pretty good. But I get off topic.

It dawned on me yesterday, whether consciously or otherwise, the progress I've made. For example, I was surprised how much more financially stable and empowered I am than I was, say, 6 or 7 months ago. I also just feel readier; if I had to move into an apartment this weekend, though it may be a bit rushed, I'd be game. I think. Either way, thinking about apartments feels a bit different, and it's a good kinda different.
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Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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