Skip to main content

Why would I want to date Ann Coulter?

So many things wrong with that. I mean I know she has a penis but I doubt I'd want to touch it. (score one for suggesting 'strong' women are actually men! >.<) Point is, I'm gay, and evidently liberal, also ostensibly frontal-lobe capable, so it's an absurd suggestion. And yet some ad-bot seems to think otherwise.

Clearly, she's in a fairly weak disguise on the right. 
As I was browsing and replying to some hot guys on OKcupid, the adslot on the right was trying to hook me up with some hot local singles! Except they were girls. (Clearly, the adbot is under Coulter's influence!) I wasn't really paying any attention (as is often the case with anything that has boobs) until one face caught my eye--Coulter badly disguised as a glossy lipped, dark haired harlot!!

Supposedly these adbots are supposed to stalk your interests and deliver enticingly relevant goodies you can't help but click. Right? So while I suppose it's on track with offering me hot singles, it's way off by offering me ladies. Do not want.

So where are the hot buff sexy guys who want to hook up with me, hm??


I think the easy answer (besides the adbot's having been made with very cheap parts) is roughly something like the Mac-virus scenario. It used to be, at least, that one of the reasons people recommended Macs was they were supposedly virus-proof. But that was less to do with design cleverness (hackers are cleverer) as market share. Because Mac users were such a minority, it wasn't time-effective to develop a virus to attack the that OS when you could do so much more damage by simply targeting Windows.

Similarly--I'm a gay. And awesome as that is, I'm a minority. A really awesome minority, of course, but we'll put that aside for now. Given the nature of guys, ads like the one hounding me with local hotties are probably fairly effective on dating sites like OKcupid. However, as breeders make up about 90%, it's just easier for these cheap-ass adbots to put up ads with female hotties as they can capture the vast majority with one ad rather than spend resources to develop a second one to target a (totally super awesome) minority.

As I said, these adbots are made with really cheap parts. It might not even be that costly to have a gay-version, but it's still too costly for internet advertising. Think about how many times you have ever actually clicked one of those things. They gotta make a profit somehow--and the cheaper their production costs, the more money they can eek out in returns on the campaign.

I still want to see the hot local boy-hotties looking to hook up with me/meet me. Sure, I know it's a total fabrication, but it'd be nice to pretend, nyeh? At the least, it'd be better than having a Jersey-Shore Coulter staring out at me. {shudder}
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Or just tell me what you think.

Other things that might interest you...

On aging, and fear.

To begin with, I’m not sure you’re aware of it, but I’m middle aged. Oh? What gave it away? Using a blog as my primary literary medium?¹ Hm. But in fact, the APA defines 35 years as the end of “young adulthood.” Yeah. I found out via some shitpost on twitter when I was already 35, so it didn’t sit well with me then either. But my worries about aging began much sooner than that. See, even in my 20s, I feared I’d been wasting my life. I’d struggled with school and life and everything since graduating high school, arguably sooner, and nothing seemed to be going anywhere meaningful . I felt I had a limited social life, a dead-end job, no money, no great travels, a limping love life; I was, generally, a loser, wasting away... There were none of the usual hallmarks of success or happiness. And that scared me. Would my life have been worth it if I continued in this direction? Would it have been a “life well lived” by the end? So, this is my existential struggle. Even now, as I lurch ever nea
Post a Comment
Read more

Changing lanes.

I was driving home in some traffic last night when I drifted, in my mind, a long way back (about 20 years) to high school. I was caught in one of those periodic traffic slowdowns as I floated back; you know, those waves of congestion that seem to pass backward through the columns of cars in each lane. (I've heard they start because someone switches lanes, and in response, a rippling emergent slowness travels backward and outward as the cars behind it accommodate the change, one by one.) What drew me back to those younger days was that, back in high school, similar phenomena of congestion took place in the halls between classes, when eddies of young humans would get caught in and around those clumps of those chatting by lockers or retrieving books. Occasionally, backups would occur when groups of people got caught in these eddies, or collided with other groups by the lockers, and slowdowns would ripple back from there. Maybe it's not exactly the same, but as I drove it seemed si
Post a Comment
Read more

On phases and fixations.

My fixations are powerful, but they can also be maddeningly ephemeral and fleeting. And I hate that; about them and, honestly, about myself. But I’ve never really  asked why I feel that way... I'll commit immense amounts of time and energy and even money to a fixation for a few weeks, maybe even a month or two, sometimes rebranding my whole personality around it, then just...move on. I'm not sure when I first noticed this pattern—if it was always there or if it emerged and intensified over time—but it's been part of me for a long while. And every time I do, I feel such guilt and shame. Who even am I if I can't be consistent, dedicated, substantive? How disingenuous is it that nothing I care about lasts? I’ve always just accepted those feelings; I’ve never poked at them in earnest. If you can’t tell from the recent flurry of activity on this blog, I have been fixated on blogging; I mentioned in a recent post about this blog that I had a compulsion to revamp the whole bl
Post a Comment
Read more