palmerpink

In all likelihood, I'll need a second, more complicated surgery before this is done. I'm not entirely sure why I haven't bothered to post about this yet, but it's been on my mind all the same. Essentially, the tumor was a non-seminoma germ cell tumor, specifically embryonal carcinoma. This more aggressive half of the ball cancer family still follows a predictable route--through a sequence of lymph nodes up the torso to the lungs, liver, brain, and beyond. Because this sequence is so predictable and because this kind of germ cell tumor resists chemo, it is almost always treated with surgery. It's called retroperitoneal lymph node dissection. Cool, can't be that bad, yeah? Lymph nodes aren't so big or anything, just gotta cut out these couple and call it a day. Except. They run up the torso, so the incision goes from just below the chest to below the belly button. Big ass cuts up in here. They are also under  many of the organs of the body cavity, posi...

So today is the big day. Well, one of them. But it's the first one! So that's still a big deal. I love how I call this "The Move" as though it's the first and last time I'll ever move. Of course it isn't the first; though it could be the last--maybe I'll just keep renting this house forever .  Meh, not so likely. But as my dad pointed out last night, this is possibly the biggest move I've made yet. It's more or less the "There's no going back" move. Craaaaaazy . For those of you who don't know, I'm moving out to College Park, right next to campus (4 min bike ride from the center of campus, 20 min walk) for dirt cheap. As I said to my roommate when I gave her the key, "It's a shithole, but it's our  shithole now." And it's actually not that bad. There are things I poke fun at--the obviously ancient overhead lighting that's likely older than the house itself, always a source of bemusement ...

It's not that I'm ungrateful. The surgery itself as far as I know was free of complications, and the recovery has been thankfully uneventful. I have my followup next Monday where we'll discuss whatever the labs found and path forward. So all is as well as it can be. But it's kind of...weird: My junk just seems off somehow.  For one, they shaved/trimmed   everything . My groin, my pubes, even the treasure trail. Besides being a(n understandably) graceless effort, it's foreign to me. Not once since I sprouted pubic hair have I ever experimented with man-scaping. So it's weird looking and weird feeling. I can't tell if it makes my dick looking bigger (as people claim) or smaller or just weird. Of course, most of the time it's been soft, and often right after icing the area to manage inflamation, etc. I'll let you know what I think after I've made more erect assessments. Of course there's also the obvious: I'm missing a ball. So ...

My right testicle is pregnant with twins. The abortion is Wednesday. In other words, I have cancer. You have no idea how badly I've been wanting to say that. "My balls got an ultrasound." It's hilarious. I was giggling inside even as I saw what is likely a pair of germ cell tumors snuggled up inside one of m'boys. More on that in a bit. We've scheduled the surgery for next Wednesday. I'll be off my feet for a couple weeks and further recovering for another couple. Of course the timing is terrible. Things were finally starting to fall into place. I'm working at a restaurant these days, some nights making more than I'd make for a whole week's labor at the store I was at before. At the end of this month I finally move out of my parents and closer to campus. I was about to start up yoga and swimming again in an effort to get toned and sexy again. School hadn't killed me; I managed all A's for the semester. I was also gearing up to pur...