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When did that happen.

I've somewhat spontaneously decided to go back to school. I took time off 2 years ago to figure things out; I had only 2 classes left to get an assocaites degree, but I'd struggled with them. I've been idly considering going back for the last 2 years, but recently I got serious about it.

It coincides with going part time at Macy's. I can't stand it being full time there for reasons I think I've already intoned elsewhere. So now I'm part-time at Macy's, and part-time at school. And it's scary because one of these classes I've taken like 4 times and never passed. And it's scary because it's change. And because I might actually pass--and then what?

I'm kinda counting on having grown up some in the last 2 years. I'm also paying for it myself; I've taken out so many loans in the past that I didn't need to that I feel adding more, even if responsibly, seemed unwise at this point.

In other news, I've been seeing a boy, kinda. That may not be an entirely fair way of describing it, but whatever.

I'd begun worrying, though, that he'd lost his enthusiasm. I dunno, just the tone of his texts and the way our plans tended not to work out. I was feeling frustrated and kinda down about it. But then we were at the movies last night, and he just automatically rested his head on my shoulder, and it was really nice.

I realized this morning that I was possibly more content with the slow & snuggly approach than the previous fast & flirtatious way it'd been. This felt nicer, more interesting. And it made me feel suddenly more grown-up, and that wasn't such a bad thing.

Who knows where this will go; it'd be nice to do something slow & snuggly though. And who knows where school will go; I'd like to pass and get it over with, finally, but it won't kill me if I fail. I'll just be out $450. Which actually does kinda suck. Oh well. Onward and upward!

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Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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