palmerpink

Yesterday was crap, mostly. A couple friends came over the night before and we were up until ungodly hours playing videogames and eating frozen pizza. I spent most of the day sleeping. I'd get up, eat a leftover slice of pizza, smoke, then go back to sleep. So productive. I just felt low all day, a subtle weight. I wanted to get some stuff done but it was too hot out and I felt no motivation anyway. Today I'm trying a suggestion my psychiatrist made a while back, see how that goes. In lighter news, I'm going to see Interpol tonight :D fucking STOKED. as you can see from my last.fm , which has been a bit fucked over due to technical issues with song submission, Interpol's a beloved of mine. (Really they should be up at 4th place, but I haven't been able to scrobble my ipod properly in a long while....) Part of me feels a little guilty--it keeps nagging, "Have you really  earned this...?"--but I know I'd regret missing the opportunity due to indec...

So, as I was saying yesterday, it's been kind of a bummer week for me. But yesterday I went at it anyway--did my prayers, got dressed, and did what I needed to do, mostly. I ate, I wrote, I did my to-do list, I watered the plants, I walked the dog, I called my sponsor, I tended the vegetables, I mowed the front lawn, I turned the compost, I deadheaded perennials, I emptied the dishwasher, I filled the dishwasher, and so on. All in all it was only 2 and a half hours...still, I suppose I should focus on the accomplishment more than the time for now, though generally I'd aim for 3 or 4 hours a day during the week, fewer if I've worked on the weekends. The highlight of the day, though, was after my Friday night meeting a close friend of my sponsor and mine--who usually comes off somewhat prudish--said I looked so good he could almost thirteenth step me on the spot. Hellz yeah. It's funny cuz I'd dressed more conservatively than usual--bright limey green polo tucked ...

story of my fucking life - How to Escape The Friend Zone

The last week was pretty rough on me. I'm not entirely sure why. I was just....subtley down. Unmotivated. Lethargic. I felt like nothing was going anywhere and like I was just stuck. Suffice to say, I didn't get much done that week. While I'd fairly easily managed almost 50 hours working for my grandmother in Connecticut, I struggled to break 10 once I was back home. This week, though, I'm making an effort to keep moving forward even if I'm down. And it's been working pretty well. :) Also, my vegetable garden is fucking EPIC :D I'm so proud of the damn thing. Yeah, bitches, I built that :P It's prolly even more epic now, I'll hafta take new pics. I'll also have to post pics of the lake/lakehouse--I got some really lovely ones :)

Because of bus dickery, I got stuck in NYC overnight while heading back to DC from Connecticut. I stayed with my ex, Mani, and it turned out really well. No awkward feelings, no bitterness, no backbiting or anything. Just good videogame action (I was talked into playing 'Silent Hill: Shattered Memories' and promptly died like a dozen times) and a good helping of sardonic banter. It was a thoroughly good time. I'd almost forgotten how much I love New York; it all came back to me as I finished my cheap ass pizza and lit up a cigarette on the way to Port Authority. It plays well into both my people-watching and life-lovey compulsions. I could sit on a corner and watch the traffic with possibly a cigarette or iced coffee or even in ball-sweating heat, and just smile at life. You know what? I've got. Hour to kill; I think I might go and enjoy a bit more of life instead of sitting around this underground bus cavern if I can