Skip to main content

Oatmeal is tasty.

{slurps up berry-oatmeal-deliciousness} Indeed.

I need to work on rebuilding a morning schedule. I can be zombie-like enough that I'll waste a perfectly good morning, and have often slept through many.

And, really, it's such a useful time of day.
Early on in the summer I somehow formed a morning routine. By "somehow" i mean my parents, therapist, and I drew up a home contract. Among other things, it set out a routine to the effect of:
  • 6:30am get up
  • 6:45am make oatmeal & coffee
  • 7:00am (by now) settle in with breakfast, journal, stenopads, and cigs.
  • 7:10am as breakfast winds down, smoke, sip coffee, reflect, then journal for ~20minutes in Serenity Journal
  • 7:30am start the day's writing (in appropriate stenopad)
  • 9:00am start chores for the day
Becuase it takes 15 minutes to cook a thing of oatmeal for a minute and another 10 minutes to eat it, lulz.

But the point is that it was a very satisfying way to start the day. I'd get to do my program/step work/reflection, write some poetry or  work on that short story, and chill before getting the rest of the day started. Sometimes, depending on how things were going, I'd workout, too.

Life was pretty good back when I was sticking to that.


Naturally, things changed and things shifted. I've gone back to some of my old night owlish tendencies so it's gotten harder to actually get up at 6:30 properly. I think, also, that laziness & lethargy are contributing factors in this....

All the same, I'll often take my ADHD meds and go back sleep until they start peaking at around 8 or so, then eventually get up. Used to be this was a prime time for writing--mind all fresh from bed and yet uncluttered with the new day and meds doing there thing nice and proper so I have a respectable amount of focus at my disposal....

No, instead I use it as a poor man's (?) alarm clock. Once that lysodexamfetamine starts metabolizing and the stimulant effect hits my brain, it's understandably hard to keep sleeping properly.... Meanwhile I've killed my best opportunity in the day to enjoy & explore my writing. So that's fallen behind. As has doing chores for the parents to earn my keep. Yeah....


So I'd like to get back into that "old" routine. And, really, what's stopping me? These are things I supposedly care about--writing, reflection, working out, bits of routine--so you'd think that'd be motivation enough. But it'll require other changes too, like going to bed reasonably/regularly, which itself requires sacrificing or at least moving or limiting late night pleasures like playing SimCity 4 or watching Doctor Who like the dork I am.

But that's not so bad. I suppose I feel worse that I haven't written/worked on a proper poem or short story in so long than I do about shaving off an hour or two of my nightly dorkery. I'm sure, too, I can find time elsewhere in the day to watch my Doctor Who or what have you, eh?

The only other snag, of course, is the uncertainty in my schedule. I got that highly anticipated call from American Eagle--"When can you come in to do your paper work?" and "Are you availabe to work...?"--and so soon enough I'll be working. My first two shifts are overnights (breakin' out the winter garb, my inner fagmunch is quivering with anticipation for the outerwear I'll be able get on discount XD). Anyway, that means I'll be working from 10pm to "whenever we're finished". Which I imagine will make it hard to get up at 6:30 the following morning. (Maybe a compromise is in order?)

All the same I'm sure I could do a better job, make better use of my mornings, than I have been. Blogging, for one, has been very satisfying outlet for my writerly urges. Not quite the same deliciousness as finalizing a poem or having breakthroughs with a short story. I'd also like to schedule other regularly occurring things--like working out, landscaping for my neighbor, or doing laundry--so they don't get neglected, too.

But I think it's enough to start with this--doing something about my mornings. As long as I get some me-time and do some writing, I imagine that'll change change the rest of my day for the better.

Comments

  1. My morning schedule is a wreck too. When I do work in the morning I get up an hour or two before my shift, make sausage, eat sausage, make tea, sit in a haze, then run (Run!) to work to make it on time.

    Days off are horribly unproductive. I have a few days off this week so I totally need a schedule for my writing, cycling, making jewelry, drawing, etc.

    Why is it so hard to make time for the important things that we love to do?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I read something the other day to the effect of "you become the first thing you do in the morning. If you want to be a writer, write."

    That sweet lil tidbit has been got'd, of course, third-hand through Nancy Ratey, a well regarded ADHD Coach. She goes on somewhere else with it, but it's still an interesting thought....


    To answer your pondering with some semi-platitude: Love would have no meaning if it were easy. YEAH. I'm a romantic cynic. Deal. :P
    ~Palmer

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahahaha, hey I have no problems with cynics, provided they balance with some blind optimism once in awhile.

    I guess I'm a sausage, because usually I make that first thing in the A.M. I am reminded though of Hemingway's habit in Paris of going to the cafe's to write in the morning before wandering the city and doing other activities. Writing came first.

    ReplyDelete
  4. oh that silly hemingway. lololololololol shotgun.


    I imagine it's fairly delicious being a sausage.

    I feel like a space cadet. maybe food and/or a nap will help; adieu XD
    ~Palmer

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Or just tell me what you think.

Other things that might interest you...

On aging, and fear.

To begin with, I’m not sure you’re aware of it, but I’m middle aged. Oh? What gave it away? Using a blog as my primary literary medium?¹ Hm. But in fact, the APA defines 35 years as the end of “young adulthood.” Yeah. I found out via some shitpost on twitter when I was already 35, so it didn’t sit well with me then either. But my worries about aging began much sooner than that. See, even in my 20s, I feared I’d been wasting my life. I’d struggled with school and life and everything since graduating high school, arguably sooner, and nothing seemed to be going anywhere meaningful . I felt I had a limited social life, a dead-end job, no money, no great travels, a limping love life; I was, generally, a loser, wasting away... There were none of the usual hallmarks of success or happiness. And that scared me. Would my life have been worth it if I continued in this direction? Would it have been a “life well lived” by the end? So, this is my existential struggle. Even now, as I lurch ever nea

Changing lanes.

I was driving home in some traffic last night when I drifted, in my mind, a long way back (about 20 years) to high school. I was caught in one of those periodic traffic slowdowns as I floated back; you know, those waves of congestion that seem to pass backward through the columns of cars in each lane. (I've heard they start because someone switches lanes, and in response, a rippling emergent slowness travels backward and outward as the cars behind it accommodate the change, one by one.) What drew me back to those younger days was that, back in high school, similar phenomena of congestion took place in the halls between classes, when eddies of young humans would get caught in and around those clumps of those chatting by lockers or retrieving books. Occasionally, backups would occur when groups of people got caught in these eddies, or collided with other groups by the lockers, and slowdowns would ripple back from there. Maybe it's not exactly the same, but as I drove it seemed si

On phases and fixations.

My fixations are powerful, but they can also be maddeningly ephemeral and fleeting. And I hate that; about them and, honestly, about myself. But I’ve never really  asked why I feel that way... I'll commit immense amounts of time and energy and even money to a fixation for a few weeks, maybe even a month or two, sometimes rebranding my whole personality around it, then just...move on. I'm not sure when I first noticed this pattern—if it was always there or if it emerged and intensified over time—but it's been part of me for a long while. And every time I do, I feel such guilt and shame. Who even am I if I can't be consistent, dedicated, substantive? How disingenuous is it that nothing I care about lasts? I’ve always just accepted those feelings; I’ve never poked at them in earnest. If you can’t tell from the recent flurry of activity on this blog, I have been fixated on blogging; I mentioned in a recent post about this blog that I had a compulsion to revamp the whole bl